Journal entry, 7/23/14: Because of his legal expertise, Justice Minotaur is often asked to help draft questions for either the national bar admission exam or for the LSAT, the latter of which is administered both nationally and internationally to persons applying for admission to law school. Minotaur especially enjoys contributing to the “Analytical Reasoning” section of the LSAT, which is composed of what might be considered logic puzzles. Following are the problems Minotaur submitted this morning for use in the Analytical Reasoning portion of the February 2015 international LSAT.
Problem 1. Six persons work for a business that rents vintage Yugos to daredevils. The six persons are Kerry, Kenny, Kelly, Kris, Kameron, and Seven-Jack Kim. Kerry is an Ashkenazic Jew. Kameron has never been hatless. Kelly and Kris routinely search dumpsters for leftover poultry. Kenny believes he is presently on a rocketship headed to Alpha Centauri. No one can remember the last time Seven-Jack Kim showed up to work on time. Assume a cartoon version of the movie The Graduate is being screened in a local boutique theater with subtitles in cuneiform. Which two persons are most likely to be found making out on the back row?
A. Kelly and Kris
B. Kameron and Kenny
C. Seven-Jack Kim and Pat Sajak
D. Vice Mayor Burl Ives-Tavernkeeper and his longtime partner Franita Tube
Problem 2. For purposes of this problem, assume that Wall Street attorneys and financiers have a moral compass. A Transnistrian company that specializes in making “personal shower wear for the especially modest” desires to have an IPO at some time during the year 2016. Its CEO has announced that he does not want anyone who is “either spunky or morbidly thin” to work on the transaction. Which Wall Street firm is likely to get the deal?
A. Global Impreg
B. Cub Walters & Son
C. Hindenburg Finance Team, from the People Who Brought You Kmart
D. The Dahmer Group
Problem 3. Assume the same facts as problem 1 except that the problem is set in the time of Oliver Cromwell. Also assume your name is Morty and you wear lotion socks nightly. Which of the following is most likely to occur?
A. Seven-Jack Kim shows up to work on time, but only because she forgot to adjust her watch for daylight savings
B. Burl Ives is eaten by a coelophysis while shooting a sequel for Summer Magic
C. Kameron reveals an interest in mumblety-peg
D. Nabisco comes out with a new flavor of Ritz™ crackers inspired by the First Sino-Japanese War
Problem 4. You are the head officer of Suleman United Kingdom, LLC (NYSE: SUK), a toy company whose executive team is structured like that of an ancient fiefdom. At your latest leadership meeting, you learned the following: Sales of Bruce Lee and Brandon Lee May-They-Rest-in-Peace Fingercuffs™ are down 17 percent from the prior year. The Pretendo Slimo™ market in South America is “very hot, like unto an oven that is turned up very high until it is just completely roasting hot.” On average, two fights a day break out at U.S. schoolyards among children playing with your My First Smells Marsupial™. No one from headquarters has visited the Youngstown, Ohio, manufacturing plant since the Carter administration. And finally, in the 1980s, the BBCTMEA introduced economic measures of capital consumption that were valued at replacement cost rather than historical cost to better reflect the depletion of capital assets and to enhance the picture of the nation’s productive capacity.
Which of the following moves will most improve your company’s bottom line?
A. Do a stock split
B. Treat the sales team to a mandatory celebratory death-metal concert
C. Call the Youngstown plant and see if anyone answers
D. Become a urologist
E. I know, but I don’t want to say