Journal Entry: Fire Tenders’ League Minutes

Journal entry, 9/14/14:

One hundred and third annual meeting of the International League of Fire Tenders, September 13, 2014. Meeting commenced at 11:30 p.m. Meeting called to order by President Justice Korbin Minotaur. Present:

Charlyee Twin-Burger
Dockery Crunch
Bloody Lambson
Participatory Shelves
Steak Schule
Brian Hallelujah
Seventy-Two Datsun
Morsel University Willis
Eric of Cornwall

Minutes of prior meeting had been lost but were nevertheless approved by unanimous vote.

President Minotaur rebuked Mr. Crunch for wearing a T-shirt bearing the words “Don’t hate me because I like sharp cheddar.”

Mr. Hallelujah inquired as to the location of the Lodge’s hand-cranked ice cream maker. No one could remember that there was one. After further thought, Hallelujah apologized for having brought up the issue. He remembered that the ice cream maker was something he had lost in his recent divorce and was not relevant to the Lodge.

Mr. Schule reminded the men that “hard drugs” are illegal but said that if anyone needed “a source” he could provide one. Minotaur asked that the comment be deleted from the minutes.

Discussion of “dire” funding situation. Possibility of selling camel rides at New Salem Halloween Festival broached. Committee formed of Lambson, Shelves, and Willis. To report at special meeting September 20, 11:30 p.m., at League Lodge.

Meeting adjourned.

Eric of Cornwall


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