Top New “Designer Pizza” Varieties

Justice Minotaur continues to unearth treasures from the past. Yesterday he found a list of wishes related to the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Olympic Games in the vegetable crisper. Today he produced a handwritten list titled “Top New ‘Designer Pizza’ Varieties,” which given the type of paper used appears to date from circa 2001. He reports that he found this while taking inventory of his personal collection of celluloid dickeys. Mr. Cornwall faithfully reproduces this list below.

TOP NEW “DESIGNER PIZZA” VARIETIES

-OUT OF THE HAMPER, INTO THE FRYING PAN
-ELFMEAT AND BACON
-WALT DISNEY’S FROZEN HEAD SLICES
-“MURDERER’S ROW” (CROW MEAT)
-FRUITS AND INSTRUMENTALITIES OF REGICIDE
-SELFLESS MONKEY*
-“JUST BETWEEN VIKINGS” (SEAL MEAT & NEW WORLD SPICES)
-MARIE CURIE’S SNACK POUCH
-SIDEBURNS ‘N’ RELISH
-“CHERRYCORN”
-SCORPIONS AND CREAM CHEESE**

*The relevance of this entry is uncanny considering a recent posting on this blog.
**Given that yesterday’s “Top 10” list actually had nine items, it bears noting that the present list has eleven items. Though in itself the number eleven should not cause us to take any special notice (it is not a particularly unusual number, and no promise was made at the beginning of the list about how many items would be listed), one does wonder whether one of the items here was perhaps misfiled and was intended to be a wish expressed in connection with the Salt Lake Winter Olympic Games. That would give us two lists of ten items each, which it must be admitted would be ultimately more satisfying. On the other hand, the uneven numbers may have been fully intended by the author, perhaps for metaphorical or even mythical reasons–or the author may not know how to count.

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2 thoughts on “Top New “Designer Pizza” Varieties

    • No, but you can sign up to have a ready-to-bake pizza delivered to your porch every Saturday morning (kind of like milk delivery, except you have to have a different receptacle that is more hygienic). -Mr. Cornwall, for Justice Korbin Minotaur

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