Journal Entry: Grand Secret

Journal entry, 3/25/15: Justice Minotaur conceived of a novel way to raise money recently. He said he had a “grand secret” that he would tell to the winner of a raffle. Entry into the raffle was by the purchase of a ticket for five dollars. Minotaur posted signs about the raffle at his chambers and even got a tribe of local Boy Scouts to go around advertising it to fulfill some of their service hours. The contest raised about a thousand dollars, which Minotaur used to order four five-gallon buckets of contractor-grade sealant for his shower (it is a small shower but Minotaur loves for the tile to glisten). Today Minotaur drew out the winning ticket. It was claimed by Doll Apache-Freshloam, an elderly relict whose husband perished last autumn in a whirlwind of his own making (details are sketchy). Freshloam is Minotaur’s current secretary at chambers.

Minotaur hissed the secret into her wax-coated left ear loudly enough that Mr. Cornwall was able to capture it: “If you are filling the washer with a load of towels and your hands get wet for some reason, simply use one of the towels you are loading to dry off.”


Journal Entry: Minotaur Allows Self to Be Photographed

Journal entry, 3/9/15: Minotaur has been photographed before, but today was unusual in that he allowed himself to be photographed. The photographer was L. Prinzzey du Rouge, a local den mother with severe halitosis. The scene was the surgery preparation room at New Salem Polytechnic (Multiple Technique) Hospital, abbreviated as NSP(MT)H. Minotaur had been asked to participate in some routine surgeries today as a guest surgeon. Rouge, one of the patients he assisted on, asked shortly before going under the blade if she could photograph Minotaur. He was likely anesthetized himself at the time (certainly he was by the time the surgery ended), which may have led to him having reduced willpower. In the photograph, Minotaur looks pretty much as he normally does outside of chambers except he was also wearing a protective hat to keep hair from falling into the surgery site (also, his left hand and wrist has been digitally enhanced to look supple and young–in real life it looks like worn-out old dog fur).

Minotaur participated in two radical nephrectomies and the illegal euthanization of an overgrown goat. This evening after the anesthesia had worn off, he confessed to Cornwall that he came “very close” to euthanizing Rouge. “It was all happening so fast,” he reported. “All the patients–Rouge and the the other lady and the goat–were all on their separate tables one after the next like three logs about to be lashed together for a river float, and doctors and nurses were barking out different orders from all over the room. Someone kept turning the lights off and on, maybe just checking to see how they worked. It was like a rock concert except I could detect no body odor on anyone. I grabbed a syringe from a table and was about to plunge it into the neck of Rouge, but Dr. McTeague gently advised me not to do so, as the syringe contained the hemlock for the billy goat.”


Minotaur moments before helping perform surgery on two women and one goat. He wears a medal from a regional chili cookoff (Best Recipe with Neither Meat Nor Bean).