Journal Entry: Life of Classhorn

Journal entry, 3 Prairial 223: Minotaur spent a few minutes today studying the papers of one of his thirty-nine great-grandfathers (there were a number of divorces), Barbary Classhorn, one of the first-known baseball umpires. He apparently lived most of his life on a crude stick-raft anchored in the Cuyahoga River near Cleveland. Classhorn was also blind in one eye and shared the raft with a leprous trombonist named Harry Felt. When asked what emotions he felt in reading about this forebear, Minotaur said: “I guess at bottom I feel sorry that he lived in a time before it was easy to know the eye color of our favorite celebrities. It also appears he knew nothing of artisan bread.”