Journal Entry: Halloween Costume Reveal

Journal entry, 28 Fructidor 224: Judge Minotaur has announced that thirty (30) days from now on this website, he will reveal his Halloween costume for the year. All right, if you insist, he will reveal it now. As Minotaur speaks, Mr. Cornwall will record here the words and then will press “publish” immediately.

“The costume is a gray men’s three-piece suit. It is worn with turquoise-colored moon boots that were taken from an abandoned human corpse. A huge can of bargain-label creamed corn is opened and poured in each pocket or other opening of the suit. It is expected this will take at least a full case of twenty-four cans to complete the job. Also, each boot is overflowing with creamed corn prior to the bare feet being inserted therein. The costume is worn by Mr. Cornwall while Minotaur stays home watching Fantasy Island reruns.”

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Journal Entry: Names and Occupations

20 Fructidor 224: Justice Minotaur commanded Mr. Cornwall to record here “the occupations of women I have dated, or hope to date and/or wild”:

Scribe
Mantuamaker
Dogcatcher
Rector
Homework grader
Purser
Assistant dean
Evangelist
Jockey
Disc jockey
Armorer
Ferrier
Fuller
Ostler
Drawer of perfect circles
Falconer
Bailiff
Deputy
Embalmer
Elector
Maker of devices for torture
Dry cleaner
Federal Indian agent
Tennis line judge
Whistle carver
Registrar
Train firewoman
Navigator
Expert in planning historical reenactments
Weed puller
Handmaid
Town crier
Bell ringer
Trombonist
Archer
Fruit picker
Setter of warming fires in citrus groves

Minotaur further commanded Mr. Cornwall to inscribe here “the names of some of my children living in Detroit and/or bankers with whom I am trying to renegotiate the interest rate on the giant tractor I drove into the lake”:

Embers Lube
Padme St. Jubilant
Escape Look
Roddin of Locksleigh
Consumption Rewind
B. M. Gomorrah
Futures Annalee
Escalation Press
Gary “Shiloh” Dude
Franklin Telano Roosevelt
Baseball, Ray
L. Jack Persuading
Manders Dolphinquiset
Juliet Montague
Crad Lockersbee
Amber Crisp
Syndrome Delux
Specifically Ewe
The Same Iz Zoar
Bitumen Pits
Praxis the Magnificent

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