Journal Entry: Second Trip to St. Louis

Journal entry, 20 Messidor 225: Minotaur is scheduled to fly eastward tomorrow, for the second time in as many months, to the city that he believes is called “San Luis” but is actually St. Louis, Missouri, United States of America. Just in time, his first issue of The Frightened Traveler arrived yesterday. This is an eight-page annual printed on brown paper lunch sacks affixed together with industrial staples. Articles in this issue include the following:

Where to Sit if You Think the Plane Will Shear in Two

U.S. Surgeon General’s Report on Ear Damage from the Sucking Low Pressure of Airplane Toilets

On the Likelihood of Feeling Pain if the Plane Goes into a Mountainside

What to Eat to Make the Coroner’s Job Easier

How to Act in an Emergency if You Want to Be the Focus of a Made-for-TV Movie

Forty-Eight Capital Crimes Unique to Burma

The front and back covers of the magazine bear the following label in large red type: “You Can Use the Bags on Which This Magazine Is Printed as Barf Receptables [sic].”

[Remainder of page intentionally left blank.]

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