Thoughts on Bananas, Part Deux

Justice Korbin Minotaur’s further thoughts on bananas, copied out of his diary entries:

-“If Father Adam called it a banana,┬áthe French and Germans have no right to call it anything else.”

-“Shucking a banana is an inherently human act. The last thing you will ever see a robot do is shuck is a banana. Put on really thick gloves. Do it! Now, can you see how hard it is to hold it just right in the one hand–without squishing it into a paste–while snapping its neck with the other? A robot’s hands are clumsy like yours when you have gloves on. No robot will ever have the dexterity. To say nothing of the fact that a robot would never be curious enough in the first place to shuck a banana. What is the motivation if you are a robot? You don’t need the nutrients.”

-“If I had young children, I would teach them to be confident when snapping the neck of a banana. You have to do it like you are Al Qaeda. One crack, snapping like a whip on a cold morning for all to hear and admire. That is all it takes. If you proceed gingerly, the neck doesn’t snap and you bruise the tender meat. You probably also lose the girl.”

-“One of the few jokes that translates into every culture is pretending to talk on a banana as if it is a telephone.”

-“Experimental findings, day 17. Banana: tastes almost as good sliced as whole.”


Journal Entry: Bananas at Grocery Store

Justice Minotaur retired to bed early this evening, evidently tuckered out by the day’s events. He asked Mr. Cornwall to compose a journal entry in his behalf. Mr. Cornwall offers as follows:

Justice Minotaur arose earlier than normal this morning. He reported he had been startled into “a full and not blessed awakedness” by what he said must have been “a hummingbird rifling through [his] valise in search of sweet ichor.” Thereafter, he was driven in a rickshaw to the green grocery, accompanied by his faithful scribe. Together they spent five hours looking for a single bunch of bananas that would, in Justice Minotaur’s words, “consist of three bananas, and three bananas only: one ripe for Wednesday’s breakfast; two green for Friday and Saturday.” When rejecting a bunch of bananas with four bananas, one ripe, one nearly ripe, and two green, Minotaur declared emphatically: “I do not need a banana Thursday so far as I can determine.”