Journal Entry: Martian Conversation

Journal entry, 15 Frimaire 225. This morning Minotaur went around the kitchen opening all the cabinets and slamming the doors. When he saw the gravy boat in one of the cabinets, he cried out, “This vessel is not seaworthy.” This seemed to exorcise some force that had control over him and he settled down at table for a breakfast of fried dingo. When he was full he said:

“Last night I dreamed a dream in which I saw two helmeted, diminutive, green Martians talking to one another in a nasally monotone.

“One said, ‘We keep talking about invading Earth, but we never do it. We should have invaded thousands of years ago when they were all dressed in ramskins. Now they have developed powerful weapons. I would have much rather faced a man with a club. Now they have the nuclear bomb.'”

Further Minotaur saith not.

[Click here to have your name, weight, mother’s maiden name, address, favorite seasoning, and bank account information sent to local gangster Jerry “The Hammer of Death” Montero.]


Journal Entry: Martian Commentary

Journal entry, 9/7/13. Justice Minotaur observed that “when a new idea distills upon the mind, it is as beautiful as watching a Martian sunset.” In a moment of social commentary, he then opined, “The Martian people are far ahead of us humanitarian-wise, as they have embraced gay marriage–which is to say, a community-authorized union of two males of the same species or two females of the same species–since time immemorial.” Pressed a little by Mr. Cornwall for further information on this subject, Minotaur added, “Of course, they have no women on Mars–nor children as far as I can tell. It is always the Martian male we see in cinema with the familiar nasally line, ‘Take me to your leader.'”