Journal entry, 9/14/14: President Justice Minotaur asked that the following be added to the official minutes of the one hundred and third annual meeting of the International League of Fire Tenders:
Let the minutes reflect that Prince Henry the Navigator was also present at the meeting and is a member of the Lodge. Mr. Navigator was manacled in a dog catcher’s van in the parking lot but the proceedings were relayed to him in a crude sign language by a Boy Scout eager to earn service hours. At the time the meeting was adjourning, Navigator broke free from his fetters and killed the driver of the van, the Scout, and Participatory Shelves with a mailbox that he (Navigator) had pulled out of the cement. Using his executive power, Minotaur replaced Shelves, who had been appointed to a special committee assigned to look into selling camel rides, with Brian Hallelujah.
(End of addendum)
Journal entry, 7/15/14: As reported in yesterday’s journal entry, Minotaur spent time last evening watching a “news magazine” program on television that, typical of this genre, took perverse interest in the grisly details of one or more murders. Reflecting on this program today while visiting with his friend Sylvan Enuresis, Minotaur said: “It seems like if you wanted to catch murderers, you would simply form a Murderers’ Club. Maybe you offer free T-shirts and a subscription to all new members–throw in a keychain for those who join within ten days. Then you wait around for the murderers to show up.”
When asked what he would recommend be done once the murderers were all gathered together for their club meeting, Minotaur said: “Well, maybe we have the first meeting at the zoo. We have it in Prince Henry the Navigator’s cage, but we put the Navigator over in the corner under a blanket. After all the murderers are gathered and we have had the opening remarks, we run out of there and blow a horn, and then the Navigator comes out and takes care of the rest.”
Journal entry, 7/14/14: Justice Minotaur has been going to therapy for anger management because he is afraid his “mind is going to blow a gasket.” This is not traditional therapy, however. It consists of him going to the zoo and observing and trying to commune with Prince Henry the Navigator, a thirteen-year-old male eastern lowland gorilla. Often Minotaur will return home having received by intuition or fabrication some kind of lesson that Navigator wants him to apply.
Minotaur announced this evening that Navigator wants him to work on expressing gratitude. Minotaur sat in front of the television and began watching a weekly prime time faux news program called Salemfreude, in which investigative journalists rehash the details of horrific crimes with perverse interest and track the accused through the legal process up to a jury verdict (similar to much of the programming now on Dateline). After the program was nearly over Minotaur commented, “I believe I can say with full honesty that I am truly grateful for the murders and other crimes that made this show possible. I have enjoyed myself thoroughly.”
Prince Henry the Navigator (human version)
Prince Henry the Navigator (gorilla version)